Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Life of my mother, Joan: “Gifts from the Fairies”

Even if Dorothy’s eyes hadn’t been full of tears, she wouldn’t have
seen the fairies. At least not until they consciously decided they
wanted her to see them. All she might have seen before they became
fully visible was an unusual disturbance in the air beneath the tree
where they stopped to observe her.

At first their presence caused no disturbance because they were
silent, in harmony with their peaceful surroundings. But as they began
discussing this unexpected event, they became careless about their
need to be constantly aware of maintaining invisibility when in the
presence of people. The energy of their discussion stirred the leaves
and small branches around them.

When they first came upon Dorothy sitting on the log weeping bitter
tears, they were stunned into temporary muteness. This was their first
contact with a person.

They had arrived in this part of the world for special training.
Except for the leader, they were a group of young fairies who where
not yet fully prepared, and who had been explicitly warned not to
interfere in the lives of humans. Yet they were eager to use the
powers they knew they had.

"Let’s go and talk to her," said the most impetuous fairy.

"You know that’s forbidden," cautioned the leader.

"It’s just forbidden that we use our powers. I don’t remember anyone
saying we can’t talk to humans," reasoned the every-rational fairy.
"It would be good for us to have contact with a person. We get nothing
but lectures in our training; we need some real practice. Surely it
wouldn’t hurt to . . .".

"Yes!" interrupted the impetuous fairy, "It wouldn’t hurt to just talk to her."

"Maybe we can just help her quit crying," said the most compassionate
fairy. "Surely, just conversing with her and getting her mind off her
problems wouldn’t be considered interfering. We won’t break any rules
as long as we don’t give her any blessings."

The shy fairy got so caught up in the prospect of actually meeting
this distraught young woman that she radiated an enthusiasm that spoke
as eloquently as the words she might have said if she weren’t so
self-consciously mute.

"No! It’s too much of a temptation," insisted the leader. "You could
get carried away and give a blessing accidentally. There is a real
danger of mischief if you give what you think is a blessing before you
have learned enough about the culture of the people here in the
Appalachian Mountains, especially here in Bloody Mingo County. They
are very different from the people you have learned about before. This
young woman in front of us is from the Martin family that had a more
deadly feud with the Tollivers than the Hatfield/McCoy feud.

The arguments and pleas for making contact continued with frequent
assurances by the young fairies that they wouldn’t give any blessings.
In truth, the leader was as tempted as her charges to find out why the
girl was sitting on the log crying. And the leader suddenly realized
that in their agitation they had become partially visible to the girl.
So she gave permission to the group to complete their materialization
and they approached Dorothy with a sudden sense of awe that again made
them momentarily speechless.

Dorothy was also stricken with a sense of profound wonder. She wasn’t
certain what she was seeing, or if she was seeing anything. The tears
in her eyes made the whole world shimmer. But there was a special
glittering of brilliant jewel-like colors approaching her. These were
not the sun-speckled reds and golds of the autumn leaves that she had
barely noticed in her preoccupation. No, the shimmer was a blend of
vivid violet, royal blue, rich jade, and bright burgundy. Her hands
were not adequate for getting rid of the tears that were obviously
causing her to see something so unusual; so she bent over and wiped
her eyes with the fabric of her skirt thinking she would discover
nothing but the woods in front of her.

Her dry eyes brought even more confusion. The jewel-like colors had
taken shape and she saw before her a group of lovely young women in
sheer, sparkling dresses that made them look as if they could float
away like the iridescent soap bubbles a child might blow, or fly away
like graceful unhurried birds.

Dorothy was the first to speak. "Who are you?" she got out with some
difficulty. Dorothy was not timid but outgoing and certainly trusting
until she perceived she should be cautious. She knew with an
inexplicable certainty she had nothing to fear from these beautiful
creatures.

The fairies answered Dorothy with questions instead of an explanation:

"Who are you?"

"Why were you crying"?

"What are you doing in the woods alone?"

My name is Dorothy. I’m ashamed to tell you why I was crying."

"Please don’t be ashamed," said the compassionate fairy. And the
command, "Don’t be ashamed!" was a blessing that erased in Dorothy the
agitation of spirit that had driven her into the woods to weep in
private. Not that all her weeping was in private; she had never
learned the self control her older sister, Blanche, was still trying
to teach her. Dorothy simply hid as many tears as she could.

"I’m pregnant," Dorothy was able to say without shame for the first
time. She couldn’t explain where the shame had gone. "I’m sixteen and
not married. Walton, who got me pregnant, won’t even admit he did it.
My sister and her husband—Blanche and Brownie—say they will always
take care of me and the baby; but I feel my life is over."

"Oh, no; your life isn’t over," said the rational fairy, who knew such
things. "You will marry and have other children."

"Now you’ve done it!" stormed the leader. "You have given a blessing."

"That wasn’t a blessing," countered the rational fairy. "I was just
telling her what is going to happen."

"Of course it was a blessing!" You said, ‘You will marry and have
other children.’ That’s a blessing. Come on; let"s leave before all of
you get into mischief."

"No! No!" pleaded all the young fairies in unison. "We’ll be careful.
We won’t give any more blessings. Please just let us find out more."

Before the leader could answer, the shy fairy startled her and other
fairies by actually speaking and asking Dorothy why Walton wouldn’t
say he was the father.

"I don’t know," Dorothy replied. "He said he loved me. Maybe our
mothers had something to do with it. When I told my mother I was
pregnant, she got angry and rushed off to Walton’s house and yelled at
his mother. ‘Your son got my daughter pregnant.’ At least that’s what
I was told. I don’t know just what all they said; I just know they had
a big argument and now Walton isn’t speaking to me. Blanche said, ‘We
will take him to court’."

What a jerk!" from the always indignant fairy. "Your daughter will
never be attracted to a man who would do that."

"Oh, this is disastrous!" moaned the leader. "This is pure mischief."

"What do you mean?" asked the indignant fairy.

"You just gave a blessing," said the leader, "and the blessing will
drive this unborn baby away from her home and family when she comes of
age."

The indignant fairy quickly went back over what she had said and
realized she had indeed given a blessing. She hadn’t intended to. It
was certainly hard to talk without giving a blessing when every
sentence might be one. Also, she couldn’t see how what she had said
would not be a good blessing. She stiffened her back and challenged,
with even more indignance than she usually displayed, "How can what I
said drive the baby from her home and family?"

"Oh, it won’t at first," the leader countered. "She will be reared by
Blanche and Brownie . . . "

"You did it! You did it!" shouted the impetuous fairy. "You just gave
a blessing."

"Yes! Yes!" the others agreed. "You gave a blessing!"

As the leader began her denial, she understood more fully why casual,
unplanned contact was forbidden. "No, that wasn’t a blessing," she
replied calmly. "I was just affirming what Dorothy had already said.
Anyway, I wasn’t talking directly to Dorothy. I was talking to you. A
blessing has to be given directly." The leader didn’t know for certain
if this was true and planned to check it out with the elders when they
returned.

"But, as I was about to explain, your saying, "Your daughter will
never be attracted to a man who would do that," means the daughter
will only be attracted to men of integrity and she will not be able to
discern what integrity is as she is growing up among many people who
flout many of the rules she will learn in church that she is destined
to go to alone for the most part.

"She will have to go into another culture to find the type of men you
have destined her to be attracted to."

Dorothy was taking all this in and wondered how they knew she was
going to have a daughter. Also, even though she didn’t know what
integrity meant and she did agree with the leader about the nature of
men in her life, she still loved Walton and spoke up, "I’m sure Walton
was telling the truth when he said he loved me, and I was sure at the
time I could trust him. I think it’s his mother’s fault he won’t marry
me. He isn’t bad; maybe just weak." No one had to say more. Even
Dorothy realized she was just making excuses for Walton. He had the
same qualities as the men, but at sixteen he just hadn’t fully grown
into them.

Dorothy thought she could divert their attention from her disloyalty
to Walton, so she continued with, "I don’t know how I got pregnant. I
never agreed to have sex with Walton, we never laid down together, and
he never . . .. I must be awfully dumb."

"You’re not dumb," said the compassionate fairy in a comforting tone,
"and your daughter will be even smarter than you are." She knew she
was in trouble as she glanced at the leader and saw the furious look.
The compassionate fairy didn’t wait for the attack and quickly said,
"Okay, so I accidentally gave a blessing. But this one is a really
good blessing."

"No it isn’t!" groaned the leader trying to speak the words without
revealing her inner turmoil over how everything was getting more and
more out of control. "Giving a blessing of higher-than-average
intelligence to a girl in this culture will bring even greater
suffering than designating the type of men she will be attracted to.
She will be called ‘As smart as a whip!’ but not be encouraged to want
to learn from books she will be drawn to and she will be considered
different in wanting to get as much education as possible.

"Don’t worry. She will still be loved, but this blessing, like the
other, will draw her away from her family."

With more firmness than she felt capable of using to back up her words
with action, the leader said, "Don’t say another word. We have
complicated this baby’s life enough. Let’s leave right now!"

"But that’s not fair, said the rational fairy, "just to suddenly
disappear without saying goodbye or giving Dorothy a chance to know
who we are."

"And if she has to leave her family and go out into the world alone,
we should give her some blessings that will help and protect her,
"murmured the shy fairy. "I don’t care if I am defying you, I’m going
to give a blessing. This baby will grow up with an open sunny,
friendly personality that will make her safe because many people will
feel protective of her."

The shy fairy was trembling because it wasn’t like her to be defiant
nor to give such a long statement.

Before the leader could respond, the impetuous fairy interjected, "If
she has to go out on her own, I bless her with a fearless nature and a
sense of adventure."

"And I say she will always be drawn to goodness in a world that has
much evil," from the compassionate fairy. "Don’t tell us these aren’t
good blessings," she challenged as she looked directly at the leader.

I’m going to say no more for now," said the leader with a look of
assured firmness. "We will sort all this out when we return to the
elders, which we are going to do as soon as I say goodby to Dorothy
for all of us."

With this she turned to Dorothy and said, "You have had the misfortune
to be in this place at the wrong time; that is, at the time we were
passing through. We are fairies. But these young fairies are still in
training and they have unwisely—and, I might add, without
permission—placed blessings on your unborn daughter that may end up
seeming more like curses. This misguided group won’t fully understand
the difference between a blessing and a curse until they learn more
about cultural differences among humans. For this I apologize. I can’t
reverse the unwise blessings, but the wiser blessings given after the
foolish ones will help your daughter cope with the problems she will
face. As you heard, you will marry and have other children. So, don’t
think your life is over because of your present suffering. Do you have
any questions?"

Dorothy could hardly collect herself to know what questions to ask.
Her current predicament had overwhelmed all other thoughts about her
life. She could only ask, "Will I marry Walton?"

"No!" said the leader, "You have not met the man you will marry. Just
be patient and a man with love in his heart will find you," knowing
this, too was a blessing. "We must leave now, and we wish you well."

All the fairies waved goodbye as they walked away and slowly became
invisible, leaving Dorothy wondering if she had really seen and talked
with fairies. She arose and walked out of the woods feeling close to
this daughter within whom the fairies had brought to life in a special
way, wondering how, or if, she could tell anyone about this
experience.

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